Bookmark Friends…

I came up with these concepts in 6th grade during a “Luminary Lock-in” (A “Luminary Lock-in” was an overnight retreat where kids would make those wonderful lights outside of church on Christmas Eve. You know, those things made of a gallon milk jug, sand, and a candle”).

Convenience-Based Relationships Theory:
These are relationships you have with the kind of people that come and go in your life. The kind of people with whom you might have gone to school or worked for a while, or the guys at poker night. These kinds of relationships are formed on the basis that you have something in common…at the time. These relationships are based on how convenient it is to have them. When you graduate, move, or switch jobs, these are those that don’t always persist without a lot of work to keep up. It’s hard to catch up – except maybe nowadays on Facebook – and quite honestly, you don’t really care. There’s nothing wrong with these, nor is there a moral judgment of any kind here. It’s just a matter of fact. These are the people who traveled on the road with you for a little while during the portion of the journey you happened to share.

“Bookmark Friends” Theory:
Now these…are those friends – and on average, you will have very few of them, because it’s a question of quality here, not quantity – that you meet up with that when you do, you skip the “Hey, how’ve you been…blah-di-blah-blah” act. These are those friends that you trust have been well, with or without you, and think likewise of you. They are the ones that you chat with every now and then, but when you do, not a day has gone by since you last did. These very special people in your life are the ones that can live far away from you geographically, but you keep very close to you always – and without even trying. Bookmark friends are those ones that, no matter where you are in your life, no matter how long it’s been, and no matter what physical distance separates you, you can always pick up right where you left off – just like an old book you dog-eared. These are your closest people…the ones you walk through Hell with, the ones you meet in Heaven.

“Single-Serving Friends” Theory:
(Please see Fight Club).



Why are we doing this?

This is one of the most valuable questions one can ask. Moreover, it’s one of the most valuable questions you can answer.

“Are we doing this kicking drill to work on speed and endurance or are we practicing this to use it in sparring?”

“Both. As students, we must keep working to hone our skills and keep our bodies in shape. As martial artists, we must be able to apply what seems like a mundane technique and use it to our advantage in real life.”

If you can’t ask the right questions, you can’t get the answers. Conversely, if you can’t answer the question, you have to re-evaluate what you are doing.

“Are we doing this project for the sake of consolidating data or are we doing it to save the business time and effort?”

“Both. For the business, we’re working to make their lives easier. For IT, we’re cutting our overhead and maintenance costs by bringing our systems together.”

Why are we doing this? Always ask the question and be able to answer it.